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Monday, September 12, 2016

It has been 10 years...

This is one of my favorite pictures of my son Kevin. I don’t know what the activity was but he seemed to engage with everyone around him. Comparing things, poking fun at things, or giving someone a hard time, it didn’t matter, he just had to be doing something with someone. I am so grateful he poked his head in the bedroom to tell us good-bye and that he loved us before he headed out to work that morning ten years ago. I like to remember him as someone who marched to the beat of his own drum. He was everyone’s friend. He loved people, and he connected with everyone, no matter how old or young they were. He had a way of putting you at ease. And he seemed to always be plotting something with someone. He is missed, he is loved, he left a hole in our family, but we will be together again.

When we first moved to Manhattan, Kansas we had to rent some places. Sunday afternoon at the dinner table Kevin would put on a magic show. He would learn a few tricks during the week, and then entertain us all with the new tricks. Disappearing utensils and coins going through the tabletop were some of the more memorable moments – especially the look of horror on Lynda’s face when her butter knife disappeared.

He had a ready smile, but always had some mischievous prank about to be sprung on someone. Which brings me back to this picture. It looks like the fellow Kevin is handing something to is a bit wary, don’t you think? Not sure if he should take it or not, and the look on Kevin’s face, ‘why don’t you trust me? Nothing is going to happen’… The moment was captured and it illustrates that side of Kevin so well.

Ten years may have gone by, but your memory is still alive and well. Miss you son.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Fight On

One key to success is to keep on keeping on. Once you've set your goals an your sights on where you want to go or do. Keep at it.

Rachel Platten's Fight Song might just become your own theme song.


I like it because it resonates deep inside of me.

This is my fight song,
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song

...cuz I've still got a lot of fight left in me.

Great lyrics, great song.

Listen and get your commitment to go after what you want to do.

It works for me anyway.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Be Confident or Fake It Till You Make It


I ran across this comedy sketch a while back and I keep going back and watching it again.  I love this. It is from Studio C and they do all sorts of short comedy spoofs on all kinds of things.




Not sure if the embedded link will work or not. So here is the link:

Who wants to be a Millionaire: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTezdMLJoyE

I share this video because my favorite part is towards the end when "Regis" asks our contestant "Are you sure?"

His answer speaks volumes.

"I was, until you kept asking if I was sure, and the lights and everyone else saying other things."

Watching this we know the correct answer. We know he has the correct answer, but everyone else is so sure the incorrect answer is in fact, the answer.

It is easy for us to sit on the sidelines and say George Washington. it is so obvious. And yet he capitulates and goes with D. George Washington, against his better judgment.

There is a new reality TV show called Strong. My wife was watching it so by default I watched some of it as well. However there was something said that gave me one of those moments when I thought, "Yeah, that is right."

What I gather from what I saw of Strong is a variation of The Biggest Loser or The Biggest Loser meets Survivor.  10 contestants each have an individual trainer. The pair make a team. They have work out schedules and the trainer is just that helping them to get fit.

As one of the contestants struggled while training the trainer commented that she had the physical strength to run, or jump, or whatever she was required to do, the problem was mental. She had to develop that mental toughness to push past her preconceived limits.

That was my "ah, yes" moment.

The cliché is If you think you can, then you can. It comes back to our own confidence and mental toughness. I like to say, "Life is what happens when you make other plans."

Be confident. Believe in yourself. Life is full of set backs. There are those who say, no it can't be done. So, take what you want to do, write, athletics, business, whatever, believe in yourself. Give yourself the tools needed to do the task or complete the goal you have in mind. But go forward believing in yourself.

Have the coverage to say, "B: Theodore Roosevelt. Final Answer!"

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Some Nice Perspectives on Life

I opened this in an e-mail.

Spring has sprung! Flowers are blooming. Birds are singing. I thought the flowers and birds combined with a message was a nice touch for the time of year. The short thoughts are defiantly worth sharing. There are some nice perspectives.

So follow the images and understand the meaning behind each. Each could be its very own post.  Humm, I may just do that...


















Send a link to those whom you care about. One never knows what tomorrow will bring us.
  The nicest place to be  is in someone's thoughts

Change is Possible

I ran across this meme on Facebook a year or two ago. I saved it thinking it would make a great post. Then I went back to my grind.

When I had left the food industry a few years ago I vowed I would not return. Yet the non-food service job I had did not have a bright future. So when another food service General Manager job opened up and they asked me to run a store for them I took it. The store swallowed me. I was back to working 12 to 16 hour days. Some days arriving home so tired I’d crawl into bed just to get up in a few hours and drag myself back to work. That is where I’ve been for the last year. At work or in bed. 

It makes it real tough to do much else. I have other priorities, but putting food on the table seems to take precedence over other things. So other things have slid, and unfortunately writing was one of those activities that seems to take a hit when things get stressful and hectic.

Yet I wanted to make a change. Thus the meme with the three C’s. I had to make a choice. I needed out of the food industry. I had the job because I needed to do something to provide for my family. That is like, number one priority, make sure my family is taken care of. Albeit the job just barely fulfilled that requirement. Not complaining, just stating where I was at. Yet I had no job satisfaction. Oh, there were moments when things were great, but for the most part I was behind and always stressed. I was not in my happy place.

So I chose to find something different, something better. I like having my weekends free to do things with my wife and kids. I like being home in the evenings so I can attend things at the High School, or go out, or stay in. The point is I’m going out or staying in with my wife and kids. Doing things with the people who matter most. And running a restaurant does not allow that type of lifestyle. So I am fundamentally unhappy with the situation, I must make a change.

I like computers, databases, programming. I am good at the database thing and computers. So I opted to work on certifications with computer things. That was my choice.

Then the miracle happened - a job that fit what I wanted became available. Now I had to move to the second of the three C’s - Chance

I had to take the chance. Take the job, give the two week notice and venture across the country to begin a new job and changing my life.

Because once I made the Choice to look, and take the chance on leaving the old and venturing into the new the Change happened.

This change is for the better. My stress levels are way lower than they have been in a decade. I find fulfillment in the chosen work I am now doing. I have energy to pursue other things. I have a long list of things that need my attention. 

I am committed to this blog. As I evaluate time constraints and my priorities I’ll make decisions on where my focus and attention needs to be. So keep an eye out, as I do plan on blogging here once again. Hopefully I’ll have insights that others will find interesting and inspiring.  

So if you are not happy with where you are, or a project you are working on take a look at these three C’s
Make a choice. Keep going, give up, or find/do something different

Once the choice is make take the chance. Take the plunge - Do it

Then the changes start to happen. If you have a good plan and are working things the right way you may find the positive changes you are seeking.


I am on a new journey now, and so far it isn’t disappointing.  

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Links to the Past

Mom and Grandma
I love to read. My mother taught me a love for books. She too loved to read, and her example brought into my life the joys of reading. My grandmother taught her daughter, my mother, to have a love for books. I spent some time at my grandparent’s home, and my grandmother had a favorite chair, across from my grandfather’s favorite chair. Next to her preferred seat was a table, filled with books – mainly westerns. Yes, my grandmother loved to watch Gunsmoke, and read Louis L’Amour westerns.  I also learned that her favorite character from those books was William Tell Sackett. (Grandma also loved to play ball, when the family played baseball and she was up to bat, the outfielders moved further back, she could hit far. I had a real cool grandmother.)

I worked late the other night. When I got home everyone was in bed. I wasn’t sleepy, and I knew if I crawled into bed I’d toss and turn until I got comfortable, but in so doing would disturb my wife’s rest. So I opted to take some time to read. Since things have been hectic lately I haven’t gotten involved with a novel, or a trilogy, I’ve been reading short stories. The collected short stories of Louis L’Amour. As I was reading the next story in the collection I realized that the character was Tell. When I finished the story, I remembered my grandmother and her collection of L’Amour westerns.

My grandmother had written a short autobiography, about 30 pages is all. I remember she had written that one of her most favorite parts of the day was when everyone had gone to bed and she was the only one awake in the house. I smiled to myself as I recalled her words. I was the only one awake in the house, and I had just finished reading a short story western about William Tell Sackett, one of my grandmother’s favorite characters. I felt close to her at that moment. A solitary moment late at night while my family slumbered peacefully I understood the words my grandmother had shared, and why she liked those silent moments of solitude in a house full of sleeping loved ones. Suddenly I felt a kinship with her.

If she hadn’t of written it down I would have missed it. She never told me those thoughts, but she had expressed them in her short paper on her life. It is full of tidbits and memories about her.

Then I got to thinking about other things I have in common with my grandmother. My own mother and one of my sons. I fit between them. True I am her son and a father to my son, but my son and mother have something in common: they both survived a car accident, my mother lost a leg, and my son lost part of his foot.

Grandma had to deal with helping my mother recover from her auto accident. My mother lost her leg at 17, a life changing event to say the least. I grew up with that as normal. I didn’t realize that other people’s mothers didn’t have to put their leg on in the morning as part of getting ready for the day.

So when my four-year-old son lost part of his foot, I understood what I needed to do to help him, because I had watched and learned from my own mother. However, that night sitting in my chair thinking about my grandmother I discovered that we shared a similar experience. Dealing with a child who had been critically injured in an accident and their life would be forever changed because of it.

In my grandmother’s writing she also mentioned that she missed Tommy. She lost her son when he was eight years old. He had drowned. Growing up I was fascinated with Tommy. My aunts would tell stories about him, and they would laugh at the happy memories. I too lost a son. He was eighteen when he died. So when I read the words my grandmother wrote about losing her son, and the feelings she had, and missing him, and thinking about him – I understood. However, I didn’t lose my son until after grandma passed away. So I didn’t get to compare notes with her. I just have her writing about her own reflections on her own pain of losing a son.

I closed the book, thought about grandma, realized how much we now have in common and gratefully retired to my bed feeling closer to both my grandmother and mother.

Mom taught me a lot. She shared much of what she learned from her mother with me. I felt the kinship during those waking hours late that night. So though both mom and grandma have passed on, I wish them both a Happy Mother’s Day 2015.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Keep on Keeping On

"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks to what happens."
-- Khalil Gibran

I agree, the quote is spot on. I had an epiphany this last week. I've been picking up the pieces and next week I start a new job. While my current job has been great, it is a bridge between places as the income is not where I needed it, and the hours are not good at all (try 6 PM to 6AM four days a week).

The new job is simalar to a job I had a year and a half ago. In fact when I left the industry I told my self not to ever go back.

What is that saying? "Never say never." Yea, that is the one. I'm going back.

But before I decided to go back I took a long careful look at why I was so unhappy, and why I wanted out so badly. It was a no win situation, and I was surrounded by a whole lot of negativity.

So I'm looking at where I'm going, and while it isn't exactly the same thing I was doing, it is close to it. Then I got to thinking about if I like it, what does it matter what else is going on. It is my attitude. I"ve also heard the saying "Attitulde determines altitude."

On the one hand I am really looking forward to the new opportunity. I've years of experiance that I am bringing to the table. I plan on being very successful with the new endevor. My epiphany was this, if I'm happy, don't let anyone tell me I should be unhappy. Don't let anyone rain on my parade, and don't worry what other people think. If I'm enjoying the work, and the people, don't let anyone else pull me down. Period.

I used to be like that. I intend to become like that again.

So I'll just add "Keep on keeping on." because that is all we can do. But do it with a smile. Find that happy place. Your own attittude will determine a whole lot of how things will be, or your attitude determines how things are.

How do you keep your attitudes positive?

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Nineteen Thoughts

Well I've brushed off the cobwebs, swept the floors, dusted, and cleaned the place. I've picked up the pieces and once again I'm stumbling forward.

To start the new year I share an e-mail I recieved. Nineteen motivational points that are worth pondering. And true a few things that are on the humorous side.




















Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Picking up the Pieces

Last summer I went with my daughter to the Mocking Jay Part I movie. There was a line in the movie that caught my ear. "It takes ten times longer to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."


I've thought over my last few years. In a lot of ways my own life has come unraveled. Job stress, finances, personal tragedies all rolled up to be nearly overwhelming. I started dumping things, and then more things. Soon I was just doing what I needed to do to get by.

That was exactly what I needed to be doing. I am making it through my own issues. Now I am starting to get back into things I wanted to do, but were not as high a priority. It isn't always easy. I now understand more about why folks struggle. Stress is tough. Depression is tough. Dealing with things is unique to each individual dealing with it.

I like the quote, if you can keep it together, keep it together. I know when I was running regularly, during a race if I slowed to a walk for just a bit, it was hard to get running again.

So keeping it together is easier than starting things over. Yet in the thick of things sometimes priorities have to be set and worked on. The thing to remember is if it is worth doing, find a way to do it. Sometimes you have to stop and rest, no shame in that. Sometimes keep on keeping on is the better choice. Then that is life, choices.

My life lesson is keep on keeping on if I can. It does take longer to picking up the pieces later. Stumbling forward is still going forward. Stay the course and keep moving forward.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Dealing with what you are Dealt

Life is not always a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.

Jack London

     One the family favorites to watch is The Princes Bride. There is a point where the grandfather stops reading when the grandson interrupts and tells his grandfather he read the story wrong, "Wesley didn't die!"
     "I'm afraid so," Grandpa replies.
     "Who gets Humperdink?"
     "No one, he lives."
     "That is not fair!"
     "Life isn't fair."

     A great interchange, and a great life lesson. Life isn't fair. No amount of whining will change that. And no matter how much regulations goverments throw at things, it will not change the simple fact that life isn't always far.
    
     In fact there are days I have exchanges like this:
     "Hey, how are you doing?" Someone will ask.
     "Can't complain," I reply, then I'll sometimes add, "Wouldn't do any good if I did."
     Inevitable I get this reply, "No, it wouldn't."

     My wife and I have made friends with a couple that loves to get with us on a Friday or Saturday night. We play cards until 11 PM or sometimes midnight, depending on how things go. We have two rules that are strictly enforces
     1. If you discard a card, you are done with your turn. Period.
     2. Have fun.

     There are times we are loosing, and loosing bad, but we are having so much fun with conversations, and jokes, it just doesn't matter. There are times I get dealt a hand I can do nothing with. I have to play it nonetheless. However, I may get a fantastic hand and get a great run a few deals later. That is part of the fun.
     Life is a lot like the card game.  There are times when everything is going your way. Life is easy then. But like the card game, there are times life deals us an ugly hand.
     One of my most popular blog posts is "When your Best isn't Good Enough." I talk about leaving a job I spent years at, trying to get things better.
     I couldn't control the factors that landed me in that job. I was able to find a new position and leave that company. My hand that life has dealt me since has been better.
     The main thing is this: do the best with what you've got. We have to deal with what we've got. So what if life isn't fair, and we are not where we think we should be, or where we want to be. That is part of life. How we work through it is important.
     Keep your head up. Things will change. They always do. Work on what you can control and work to make the changes positive. Life will throw ugly things at us, but then things tend to work out for the best in the end.
    
What keeps you positive and motivated?

Thursday, April 10, 2014

11 Ideas to Stay Young

Stay Young My Friend
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are.

;HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1.. Try everything twice.
On one woman's tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:
"Tried everything twice. Loved it both times!"
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)



3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever... Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh,spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.


6.. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:
whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips..
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

I love you, my special friend!

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance..

And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares? But do share this with someone.


Remember! Lost time can never be found.

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Wine does not make you FAT .... it makes you LEAN ....(against tables, chairs, floors, walls)



Thursday, March 27, 2014

Keep on Keeping On

Winter is almost behind us.  It has been a long winter.  This last winter also had a plus, the winter Olympic games. 

A new addition was introduced to the games, Slopestyle. It is an interesting sport.  The one I enjoyed watching was the Mens snowboard.  Basically a snowboarder jumps on ramps, or rails and then does flips off jumps all the while traveling at breakneck speeds down the mountain side.

While the USA won first place, and the gold medal is the goal, I was more interested in what happened to the bronze winner from Canada, Mark McMorris.

A few weeks before the winter games Mark competed in the Winter X Games in Aspen.  On his third run he tripped on the rails and crashed, and fractured a rib.  He still went to the winter Olympic games and competed, with a fractured rib.

I was amazed as he did flips and jumps knowing how it would hurt when he landed.  The fact that he won a bronze medal in the debut of his Slopestyle sport is a testament of commitment and following your dreams.

I suppose the fight to go on is always in a champion.  Things that go wrong are seen as setbacks, not deal breakers.

I will never be a star athlete, or compete in any Olympic Games, summer or winter.  I do well to run a mile right now, although I am working on my fitness, I know I'll never be an elite athlete, but I do know this - I can keep on keeping on.

There are times in life where it seems like the opposition will overwhelm us.  Remember this, obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes of the goal.  Sometimes it will hurt to keep moving.  Oftentimes things do not, or will not go the way you would like.  Take a deep breath and keep plugging.

You may not get the gold medal, but hey, you made it to the platform and got to see your flag.  Go back and work some more.  It will eventually pay off.






Men's Slopestyle Final Results
Place Name Country Score
1 Sage Kotsenburg USA 93.50
2 Staale Sandbech Norway 91.75
3 Mark McMorris Canada 88.75

Monday, March 24, 2014

Darke Conteur has me on Blog Tour

I need to remember the old adage, "Never volunteer for anything."

Yet I feel the need to help others whenever I can, and when Darke put up a note saying she needed help I said sure!

Really I don't mind, I've just been swamped, as you can tell by the low number of blog posts I've put up lately...  I'll fix it, but blogging is not a high priority at this juncture. 

So I need to answer a few simple questions:

1) What am I working on?
Finding a job first and foremost.  Oh, as far as my writing goes?  Well I've been working on a high fantasy story for longer than I will admit.  I made the mistake of writing 400,000 words with no help, or anyone to beta read or critique. Now I'm trying to turn it into something readable.

2) How does my work differ from others of its genre? 
I am working on a Fantasy Thriller.  I know that is a bit different, but I love both genres.  So I am crafting something that works, although a lot of my writing friends tell me I have too much detail in my story.  So it is a balancing act...

3) Why do I write what I do?
It is an outlet for me.  I like to imagine things, and fantasy allows me to let my imagination go, but the practical side of me always brings it around to make it believable, so even fantasy has rules it needs to follow!
 
 4) How does my writing process work? 
I like to write at lunch time, or I did.  I'd have ideas brew and then at lunch put them on paper.  I love to go on walks and as I'm out walking the ideas start to come.  I can play with them in my head and then put them down once I work out the details in my mind.  My favorite part is writing the first draft and letting the story flow out of my fingers through the keyboard and onto the screen/paper.  

I've heard it said that the first draft you write for yourself.  Then get the crit partners and start making it work for everyone else.  That is where I am at now, working on making the story work for everyone else.  It will get there, and boy it will be great when I get it published.  

So thanks Darke for asking me to join your tour.  Now I've got to find three other people to share this with and post some links for them for next week.

 

Guest Post by Andre Ford: Why I write

I've asked some of my writer friends why they write.  I got a request From Andre for a post.  So here is a brief bio and why Andre Writes:

Name: Andre Ford
 
Born and raised in Southeastern United States, my interest in writing started in High School; math class to be exact. There was a student teacher there who noticed I wasn't paying attention and found out why. She scolded me for writing in class and then scolded me for leaving a cliff hanger. She encouraged me to write ... but not during class.

Though I've been writing stories for years, my first published work was with a small magazine that targeted canine enthusiast. Later on I began writing stories and featuring interviews on a website devoted to aviation and flight simulation. At first I doubted my skills to interview various people but then, with each successful interview, I started to get good at them; even to a point where I launched my own site, Lounge1506. There a number of interviews from people around the world and many walks of life are featured. The problem is that with a quick glance many think the site is about music, or radio, or business, in fact it's about a variety of topics instead of just one. Lounge1506 does two things for me. It gives me a challenge to conquer and allows me to meet people around the world and share their story. I hope people enjoy reading or watching the content as much as I enjoy featuring it.
 
 

What Motivates Me To Write and Why?


Failure is my motivator.  Interesting isn’t it? The very thing which causes many to stop writing is what gives me fuel. Failure mixed with tenacity fuels my desire to prove that I can do it; that I can write. During an interview with a DJ, he said “You’re going to make mistakes. It’s how you recover from those mistakes that matters.” The same could be said about failure. It’s going to happen; however, there is a lesson to be learned. If you work hard enough, you can to attain your goal. When I am faced with complex situations, it forces me to make needed changes, try different things with my writing, and to look at my work differently.

For instance, I wrote a story where the main character lived in an advanced society amid a wasteland. It was as if Star Trek met Mad Max. That story was a complete failure due to a number of reasons, other than the fact that is my first story. After examining the story again an idea came to mind which was to make another story about one of the advanced cities. This new story would take place in a fairly advanced world with its own set of problems.

In addition to a new story with a new setting, I’ve also figured out better ways to write dynamic scenes of action. Instead of writing “John Doe was mad and threw the device thus breaking it.” I learned to write “John Doe’s face turned a deep crimson upon hearing the news of defeat; he clinched his fist and his knuckles became white as paper. His narrowed eyes focused on a data pack, no bigger than a deck of cards, which was on the corner of his desk. All that work, and for what? Nothing! He swiped the device and hurled it across his office; watching, as it exploded into tiny pieces of plastic and metal.” I’m far from perfect and still have a lot learn.

In short, failure pushes me to summit the mountain of challenges the writing industry provides.
 
Thanks Andre, and be sure to stop by Lounge 1506 


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

The Wrong Funeral

I enjoy motivational and inspiring stories.  Part of time management is having drive.  What motivates you?  What drives you?  What inspires you?

This is a story that inspires me.  It helps to keep me going.  So I hope this inspires you as it did me.  This was in my e-mail's in box.  Again it was the right story at the right time for me and I share it with you.  I don't know who wrote it, but thank you...

Consumed by my loss, I didn't notice the hardness of the pew where I sat. I was at the funeral of my dearest friend - my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times. Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held a box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, comforted me at my father's death, encouraged me in college, and prayed for me my entire life. When mother's illness was diagnosed, my sister had a new baby and my brother had recently married his childhood sweetheart, so it fell on me, the 27-year-old middle female child without entanglements, to take care of her.  I counted it an honor.  

"What now, Lord?" I asked sitting in church. My life stretched out before me as an empty abyss.
 

My brother sat stoically with his face toward the cross while clutching his wife's hand.  My sister sat slumped against her husband's shoulder, his arms around her as  she cradled their child. All so deeply grieving, no one noticed I sat alone.  My place had been with our mother, preparing her meals, helping her walk,  taking her to the doctor, seeing to her medication, reading the Bible together. Now she was with the Lord. My work was finished, and I was alone. I heard a door open and slam shut at the back of the church. Quick footsteps hurried along the carpeted floor.

An exasperated young man looked  around briefly and then sat next to me. He folded his hands and placed them on  his lap. His eyes were brimming with tears. He began to sniffle. "I'm late,"  he explained, though no explanation was necessary. After several eulogies, he  leaned over and commented, "Why do they keep calling Mary by the name of  'Margaret?'"

"Because, that was her name, Margaret.  Never Mary, no one called her 'Mary,'" I whispered. I wondered why this person couldn't have sat on the other side of the church. He interrupted my grieving with his tears and fidgeting. Who was this stranger anyway?

"No, that isn't correct," he insisted, as several people glanced over at us whispering, "her name is Mary, Mary Peters."  

"That isn't who this is."  

"Isn't this the Lutheran church?"

No, the Lutheran church is across the street."  

"Oh."  

"I believe you're at the wrong funeral, Sir." 

The solemnness of the occasion mixed with the realization of the man's mistake bubbled up inside me and came out as laughter. I cupped my hands over my face, hoping it would be interpreted as sobs. The creaking pew gave me away. Sharp looks from other mourners only made the situation seem more hilarious. I peeked at the bewildered, misguided man seated beside me. He was laughing too, as he glanced around, deciding it was too late for an uneventful exit.

I imagined Mother laughing. At the final "Amen," we darted out a door and into the parking lot.  
"I do believe we'll be the talk of the town," he smiled. He said his name was Rick and since he had missed his aunt's funeral, asked me out for a cup of coffee.

That afternoon began a lifelong journey for me with this man who attended the wrong funeral, but was in the right place. A year after our meeting, we were married at a country church where he was the assistant pastor. This time we both arrived at the same church, right on time.


In my time of sorrow, God gave me laughter.  In place of loneliness, God gave me love. This past June, we celebrated our twenty-second wedding anniversary. Whenever anyone asks us how we met, Rick tells them, "Her mother and my Aunt Mary introduced us, and it's truly a match made in heaven."

Love God for all the marvelous things he has done for you, and REMEMBER, God doesn't make mistakes. He puts us where we are supposed to be.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Public Manners

I love new gadgets.  I enjoy the things technology brings.  My smart phone is so cool.  I can just say who I want to talk to and the phone dials the number.  The tablets help keep things organized, the internet and google make researching things so easy.  I even know who is calling me because of the ringtones that can be set to an individual number. 

So the down side of all this personalization with technology is people no longer interact well with one another.  The friendly "Hello? has been replaced with a cold computer voice asking to press 1 for English. 

We as a society do not have a lot of face time anymore.  We communicate via text messages, e-mails and "liking" things on Facebook.  When I talk with people on the phone when they are done talking they just hang up without saying "goodbye".  Some of the old school etiquette has just vanished.

Some people have forgotten how to be polite, others have never learned, because they don't know how.  Please, thank you, and you're welcome have dropped from our vocabulary.  And when things go the way someone thinks it should a temper tantrum is thrown.

A few months ago I was walking past a local hobby shop.  A lady was standing outside the open door, her head was inside the store screaming, "It only flew three feet!  I want a full refund!"

Then a stream of swear words and threats and yelling and screaming.  I thought, a remote controlled airplane or helicopter is dependent on the skills of the modeler.  If it flew, the hobby shop doesn't need to do anything.

A few days later I talked with the owner about the incident.  He laughed and said, "If she had been nicer and explained what had happened I might have worked with her, but her threatening and swearing, no way was I willing to help her out."

I've thought about that over the last few weeks.  We've been trained to get upset with customer service.  I know I've done it, I call to complain and if I'm nice, nothing happens, I end up with nothing, but if I get testy and demand to speak with the manager and remain angry, I typically get some sort of settlement that I can live with.

"If she had been nicer I might have worked with her." still rings in my mind.  Last month I went to return a faulty tablet I received as a Christmas gift.  I took it in and got another one back in January.  The clerk told me that the brand of tablet was not any good, they were all being returned.  If I wanted to pay the difference I could upgrade to a better tablet.  I agreed, but not having the money at the time I asked how long did I have before I couldn't return it.  I was told I could bring it back within 90 days.  I took my receipt and noted when the 90 days would be up and left.

About 45 days into the 90 I came up with the difference to buy the better tablet.  I went in with the tablet to trade it in and was told only 30 days, see it is posted.  She pointed to a notice on the wall and sure enough posted right there 30 day refund policy.  I explained that I was told 90 days. 

"Sorry sir, it is posted 30 days."

Old habits started to kick in and I was getting into my angry customer mode, I want to talk with the manager, but then I thought "If she had been nicer I might have worked with her."  So I reigned in the anger and asked politely, "is there anything you can do?"

"No sir, policy is 30 days."

"Could you call the manager please?"

So she did. I explained I was told 90 days, and no they couldn't, but as we talked the manager thought of something that could work, and I was able to get the trade in, and everyone was happy, and no angry exchanges and threats.  It was nice.

On the whole it seems everyone is worried about me and what can I get.  But when you stop and think of the others and work on a win, win, things seem to go a lot better.

I've more ideas about face time and technology I'll share in future blog posts, but I just wanted to say, we need to find our Public Manners and work once again on being nicer to one another.  It makes things a whole lot more pleasant. 

Friday, March 7, 2014

Help! I'm in the hallway

Photo from:
 http://www.houstondoorsandwindows.com/doors_4.html
Welcome to all the new followers.  I'm glad you've decided to follow this blog.  I hope to be able to share things that are of worth.  I apologize I know I've been MIA for the last little while.  The real world has intruded in my life once again.

"When one door closes, another door opens" is where I am right now.  But I'd like to do a little adjustment to that saying.

When one door closes another door opens, but it is hell in the hallway. 

Currently I am between jobs.  I know, I just got a new job.  Economy and such I was laid off.  So I've got some unemployment, but being unemployed is not a good thing, so I've been very focused on the job hunt right now.  Thus the cobwebs on my blog.

I do have a lot of ideas to share with all of you.  I'll have them along shortly.

This is a set back, not a disaster, and in some ways this is a blessing, because when I'm on the other side of this I should have a job I enjoy and I'll be doing things I love, and I'll be a lot happier than I have been.

So good thoughts for me, or prayers, or wish me luck, what ever it is you feel most comfortable with I'll take.  And in the spirit of networking I am looking for a job in industry.  Project Management, scheduling, database work, general manager type positions.  I've done Maintenance Control Management, Planning superintendent, Department head.  So there it is, please contact me or leave a comment below and I'll see what I need to do to get in touch.

Thanks for all your support, and next week I'll return with the regular blog posts once again.

And if I miss, lets just say I'm on a job interview or working on getting the job so I can get out of this hallway!


Monday, February 10, 2014

Aaron Bradford Starr Shares Why He Writes

I've met Aaron over at AQC connect.  He has a lot of great insights, and has a great blog Imaginary Friend you should check it out sometime.

Aaron Bradford Starr's Photo

Anyway we've been talking blog swap, and so today's guest is Aaron.  I had a post over on his blog last week.  Aaron has published short stories, paintings, and interior art in Black Gate Magazine, black Gate Online, and the magazine Stupefying Stories.

So here is today's guest blogger:
Why I Write

The question of why a writer writes is much like why people do anything. But, underlying my own urge to write is a motivation few chose for themselves: my approaching death.

Before you get the impression that I'm sick and counting days, or healthy but morbid, let me assure you I am neither. I am healthy, but I count my awareness of my own time to be part of that health, not a detriment. Let me explain how I came to feel as I do, so you can better understand how this can act as a positive motivator, and get one writing.

When I was around ten, it was 1981. The Cold War was going on, and getting worse. This was also about the age when the truth about mortality truly strikes home for many children, the thought If I'm alive, one day I will die. A dreadful thought, undeniable and inescapable. .

Though many dodge around this realization with religious beliefs, I’d never been able to sustain these. Death awaited, somewhere in the future. Thoughts of nuclear war loomed large, to those us us coming of age in the 1980s. If I can just make it to 30, I reasoned, I'll feel lucky. But the possibility of being snuffed out in short order was everywhere, closer even than we knew at the time.

A lethargy came over me. Much like clinical depression, I could not escape the thought of oblivion, and so, one night, I sat alone, and decided to follow the thought as far as it led, since trying to avoid it was was proving impossible.

I would, one day, vanish.

I remember pondering, reducing what I knew to be true to ever-simpler core truths. In then end, I found myself looking at my own hand, thinking about it at a fundamental level.

If I exist now, I reasoned, it was because my living stuff existed. Atoms, and chemicals. My death would cause these things to spread out once more, and, given time, to completely be swept back up into the Earth's own living systems. What I feared, I realized, was a phantom conception of death. I feared continued awareness, blind and unfeeling without a body. What I feared wasn't really death at all, but eternal life, relegated to some spot underground, trapped where my body had once been buried. But the entire chain of my reasoning had started with chemicals, and atoms. My stuff.

Fearing eternal continued awareness when thinking about death made no sense at all. I'd gotten those chemicals from other formerly living things, after all. If I was me, it was because my stuff had, until recently, been some other living thing. That was true, and self-evident every time I ate. This was, at worst, my fate: to quickly rejoin the parade of life in a diffusion of other beings.

And this is the thought that keeps me producing not just writing, but other creative work. I am the swirl of chemicals that creates. I am the self-sustaining system that thinks and imagines. If I do not create these stories, no one else ever will. I write to leave an imprint on the universe, among the other thinking swirls. Ripples in a pond, and destined to fade, perhaps, but worth creating all the same.

Because the universe waited thirteen billion years for my arrival, and if I don't make these ripples, I'm missing a once-in-a universe chance.

And that is a pretty good motivator. No pressure there!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Joyce Alton shares Why She Writes

My friends at Agent Query Connect are doing blog hops this month.  I've agreed to visit two folks, and a couple of them have some posts for us here.

Today's guest is Joyce Alton, a Moderator for the Speculative Fiction Group at AQC.  She hatches all sorts of fun things for the members of Speculative Fiction group.  I am honored to have her visit The Write Time and share with us why she writes.

 Why Do You Write




Why do you write? Two or three reasons probably pop into your head right away. I get asked the question and I draw a blank. At first anyway.

Some of the usual answers you get from others are: to get published, to share their ideas, they love books, it fulfills a need, or they want more of a certain kind of book.

I went to a writers’ conference as a child and the one piece of information that has stuck with me through the years since is that there are no new ideas. We play off each other, twist tropes, create new angles, or spoof others’ stories. I hated this concept, by the way, and wanted to reject it. That’s probably why I remember it so well. It’s why I try my best not to make my stories like other ones I’ve read, seen, or heard.

With thousands of other people putting down their stories and trying to share them these days, I suppose the question of “why do you write?” comes up a lot. To start with, I don’t believe the question should open up competitiveness, condemning one person’s reason in order to justify someone else’s reason.

I draw a blank because I didn’t have a reason at first. I’m one of those annoying people who’ve been telling and writing stories since they could first communicate. I grew up in a home where my mom wrote, I had aunts and uncles who wrote, and great-aunts and uncles, second cousins … you get the picture. Genetics had more to do with it than anything.

As a child writer, I enjoyed making up stories and sharing them with other people. Mom always read her stories out loud to us; so again, I recognized that stories were meant to be shared. Other children and teachers were the best audiences. They enjoyed what I wrote.

The downside to having literary minded relations is that you don’t get such adoring feedback. You get challenged, stretched, and grow as a writer. An older cousin—my best friend—also wrote and we beta read for each other. I learned the concept of critiquing and being critiqued from her. We even wrote a book together. I’m chagrined now to realize that she drew upon the works of other writers for her inspiration and I naively thought she was so original and brilliant. She was certainly more well-read than I in those genres. Not that she plagiarized, but reading through the material now, I can see where other authors heavily influenced what she wrote. She also had great voice and style and she pushed me to develop a voice of my own.

I was in my teens by then and I wrote stories to try to get a flawless critique back from my cousin. As I gained other writing friends, the same reason drove me. I wrote to please my audience and what they wanted. But at the same time, I was starting to ask myself what I wanted to read. I read certain genres but gravitated toward others when I sat down to write. Why was that?

In my late teens to young adult years the answer to that was: because I don’t care much for what has been written, even though I enjoy the elements of those genres. I wanted to write what someone like me would want to read. And I did. These were my most prolific years. And I found that I could still please and surprise the other people who had read my work, however, I also discovered that what I like to read and what others like to read aren’t always going to be the same thing. I had detractors who subjectively didn’t like my style, my scenarios, or even my characters. They were few, yet I’m grateful to them for helping me understand this side of the nature of writing and sharing.

Then I left home and I didn’t write for a decade.

I think I jotted down a couple of story ideas during that time. I didn’t have a computer, I was working two jobs, going through school, trying to be a responsible adult, and experiencing the fullest social life I’d ever known. I didn’t read much during that time either, unless textbooks and other nonfiction count. I was living, storing up ideas, always intending to go back to writing, but never actually making it.

It wasn’t until that decade had passed, I had become a wife and mother, and my life had taken another set of turns that I picked up writing again. I’ve been going full steam since. I write now because it’s therapeutic, it helps me escape, it helps me deal with the grimmer realities of life, because it gives me power. It’s a thrill one moment and makes me a slave the next. I’m always anxious to be working on my writing and I’m always brainstorming. I have a good life balance worked out now but if anyone were to ask me what I wanted to do for fun if I could do anything, the answer would be writing. I love to create and explore. I love the challenge of trying to reach an older and tougher audience. And there’s still nothing as satisfactory as having someone read your work and then say, “Give me more!”

My reasons for writing have changed through the years and I expect they will continue to the older I get.

And as there are no wrong answers, why do you write?

Visit Joyce Alton's blog  Yesternight's Voyage.  She has all kinds of great advice, ideas, and general information.

Thanks for hopping over to my blog, and the best of luck with all your endeavors.